Love it Ann. I'm 51 and so far, absolutely agree. You could not pay me enough to go back to the insecurity-ridden years of my teens or 20s. With age we gain self-understanding, wisdom, and perspective. I feel much better able to recognise the universality of my struggles and to hold them with tenderness and compassion. I feel more content and at peace in my 50s than I've ever felt before and am happy to hear it might get even better in the 60s 😀
Unless you have health problems, it will get even better. It will surprise you! I like the photo, too, but have no memory of it being taken. I was looking at old photos and somehow the dreamy far-away look seemed the right one to go for.
Your descriptions of the different life stages really resonates with me. I’m 70 and loving it, definitely don,t want to go back to times when I felt unsure of myself and tried so hard to please others.Would like a younger fitter body but love not all the stress of working, raising children endlessly juggling.
Retirement took a while to get used to ( guilt from not constantly having deadlines to meet) but now I’ve relaxed into it and can enjoy it.
I'm pleased it resonated. It was a bit sweeping, but I think the gist of it resonates with loads of people. The thing about loving being 70 (or 80+ in my case) is that it is such a surprise! Who would have guessed how contented so many of us are. Incidentally, my book The Granny Who Stands on her Head: Reflections on growing older is all about why I like being old.
This is very encouraging, Ann. I absolutely would not go back to my younger self. I’ve worked so hard to get to 52, to still be here. And I am definitely more at peace and less concerned with the opinions of others than I have ever been. I look forward to more of this in the future!
Yes. In my view, you are in the foothills of the great mountains of older age - peace, confidence, closeness to others, a little bit of wisdom. Relax and enjoy. But also just keep going https://arichardson.substack.com/p/just-keep-going.
I have never looked back to find an earlier happiness because I have always lived in the present... with all its gifts and challenges. However, at 83, what I do miss is all those family and friends who are no longer here.
Yes, I can certainly understand missing those we have lost. I live in the present, too, but just like to think of all sorts of things and once that question came to me, I found it very interesting and the answer surprising.
63 here, and I do ponder this question occasionally. There are things I miss about my younger self, but I'm much more content with where I am now than I ever was at an earlier age. Life can be beautiful and also hard. I wouldn't change any of my experiences, joy, or hardships. It's made me the person I am now. And the person I am now is better than I was before living through my 63 years of life. It's who I want to be; not my 30 or 40 year old self.
Yes, you got it. We're so much happier with ourselves. And that's how I feel at 82 - and if you're interested, I wrote a book on why I like being older, also called The Granny Who Stands on her Head: Reflections on growing older.
I qualify as old — being 81 with various ailments. But I also feel young by playing music with several groups, being part of a writer’s group, and writing. I’d like to have the vitality of youth — I played soccer with a 30 and older coed organization & in high school it was track and football. So I do miss all that.
Sure, I can understand that. We all miss bits and pieces. I was a good dancer in my time. But the real question is, taken all in all, would you like to go back to those times? I know I wouldn't.
No going back for me. I like being in my 70's and the freedom I have of being retired. I own my life in ways I could not have when I was younger. I have much gratitude for the life I am living today.
Hi Ann! I’ve just arrived in Tokyo (from the U.S.) so I’m pretty jet-lagged — we seem to have missed a day; sorry I didn’t comment earlier! I do believe that I am happier at 73 than ever before, although I still have periods of self-doubt. My husband and I are about to meet up with Substacker Jeffrey Streeter (English Republic of Letters) for a drink (he lives in Tokyo). Now that makes me very happy!
I fall in the sweet spot, 67. I'm the happiest I've ever been, and that is very happy. I wouldn't be young again for anything, and I hope the people who believe in reincarnation are wrong. I don't want to come back and do this again. I'm happy where I am, and when it's over, enough is enough.
I fall within the group that would like to be young again on one condition: That I have the life experience I now have. Since that's not possible, I will happily stay where I am.
I wouldn’t be young again for anything. At 75, I know who I am and what matters to me. I’m not fussed about looking older but would like a somewhat younger body, the arthritis less advanced. So ideally, I’d be in my 60s.
It’s been a busy day and I am only now getting back to writing comments. Because I have inordinately good health, I forget about those with irritating (and worse) diseases like arthritis. One’s sixties were definitely a good period, but they somehow flew by.
I think your point of view represents aging well, as I feel this way too at 77. I appreciate the free time we have without the distractions of job, children and single parenthood. For those of us with positive family relationships and sufficient income, we are able to enjoy this time. For many others, in more difficult circumstances (money, health, family concerns, being alone, etc.) I think the disadvantages of aging would make life more of a struggle.
I love the thoughtful-looking photo, Ann, and your perspectives on ageing.
I like the benefit of experience that I have now at 64. I’m less raw than I was when I was younger. I think I’m more used to ups and downs. Very appreciative of family and friends and simple pleasures.
One’s sixties is a grand age. Enjoy it, as it does fly by.
And thanks for the comment on my photo, which I thought had the right air of wistfulness to suggest life was better now. I really have no memory of it being taken (or seeing it before), so it was kind of a nice surprise.
That's a beautiful photo of you! I'm in my 50s and love this era! I was a super self conscious youngster. Now I care less about what people think of me, confident of my decisions because I know I have the agency to be, and do. You are inspiring!
Thanks. I’m glad you are enjoying your 50s. I did too, but I can also honestly say that life got even easier with age. I have always been that overlooked kid in the playground or that quiet woman at a party. I never expected to inspire anyone, but just got on with things. But if I inspire you, that’s great. You might like my post called Just Keep Going -
I'm 83. My description of my self is that I don't look like it based on folks guessing no closer than 15 years. My best guess is that my infancy/very early childhood was not very stimulating My mother, in her fifties, did say that she followed the thinking at the time I was a little one; i.e., behavioristic I HATE that word. For example, let your baby/child cry, they will learn it will not get them what they want!!!! So the most interesting part of my life was what I was experiencing. So I started there and waited to see where it lead. Not surprisingly, I had the most fascinating career I could have imagined as a psychotherapist. Guess what my primary goal was? Focus on what the client (I detest the word "patient") is experiencing. Psychotherapy has never been on the right track. I call them "fixers" with theories that tell them what to do. So they don't have to think are their own!!! Sorry if I rambled a bit.
Hi, Jeffrey. I haven't heard from you for a long time. I didn't know you were on Substack or, indeed, watching what I write. Pleased to see you here, ramble or not.
Love it Ann. I'm 51 and so far, absolutely agree. You could not pay me enough to go back to the insecurity-ridden years of my teens or 20s. With age we gain self-understanding, wisdom, and perspective. I feel much better able to recognise the universality of my struggles and to hold them with tenderness and compassion. I feel more content and at peace in my 50s than I've ever felt before and am happy to hear it might get even better in the 60s 😀
And I love the pic of younger you ❤
Unless you have health problems, it will get even better. It will surprise you! I like the photo, too, but have no memory of it being taken. I was looking at old photos and somehow the dreamy far-away look seemed the right one to go for.
Oh, and thanks for the restack.
Your descriptions of the different life stages really resonates with me. I’m 70 and loving it, definitely don,t want to go back to times when I felt unsure of myself and tried so hard to please others.Would like a younger fitter body but love not all the stress of working, raising children endlessly juggling.
Retirement took a while to get used to ( guilt from not constantly having deadlines to meet) but now I’ve relaxed into it and can enjoy it.
I'm pleased it resonated. It was a bit sweeping, but I think the gist of it resonates with loads of people. The thing about loving being 70 (or 80+ in my case) is that it is such a surprise! Who would have guessed how contented so many of us are. Incidentally, my book The Granny Who Stands on her Head: Reflections on growing older is all about why I like being old.
This is very encouraging, Ann. I absolutely would not go back to my younger self. I’ve worked so hard to get to 52, to still be here. And I am definitely more at peace and less concerned with the opinions of others than I have ever been. I look forward to more of this in the future!
Yes. In my view, you are in the foothills of the great mountains of older age - peace, confidence, closeness to others, a little bit of wisdom. Relax and enjoy. But also just keep going https://arichardson.substack.com/p/just-keep-going.
Thank you, Ann!
I have never looked back to find an earlier happiness because I have always lived in the present... with all its gifts and challenges. However, at 83, what I do miss is all those family and friends who are no longer here.
Yes, I can certainly understand missing those we have lost. I live in the present, too, but just like to think of all sorts of things and once that question came to me, I found it very interesting and the answer surprising.
63 here, and I do ponder this question occasionally. There are things I miss about my younger self, but I'm much more content with where I am now than I ever was at an earlier age. Life can be beautiful and also hard. I wouldn't change any of my experiences, joy, or hardships. It's made me the person I am now. And the person I am now is better than I was before living through my 63 years of life. It's who I want to be; not my 30 or 40 year old self.
Yes, you got it. We're so much happier with ourselves. And that's how I feel at 82 - and if you're interested, I wrote a book on why I like being older, also called The Granny Who Stands on her Head: Reflections on growing older.
I qualify as old — being 81 with various ailments. But I also feel young by playing music with several groups, being part of a writer’s group, and writing. I’d like to have the vitality of youth — I played soccer with a 30 and older coed organization & in high school it was track and football. So I do miss all that.
No I’m where I need to be. I appreciate my past experiences.
That's how I feel, too.
Sure, I can understand that. We all miss bits and pieces. I was a good dancer in my time. But the real question is, taken all in all, would you like to go back to those times? I know I wouldn't.
No going back for me. I like being in my 70's and the freedom I have of being retired. I own my life in ways I could not have when I was younger. I have much gratitude for the life I am living today.
Isn’t it a wonderful surprise. Just when the rest of the world is feeling sorry for us for being OLD, we are happier than ever.
Very many Thank Yous!!!
Hi Ann! I’ve just arrived in Tokyo (from the U.S.) so I’m pretty jet-lagged — we seem to have missed a day; sorry I didn’t comment earlier! I do believe that I am happier at 73 than ever before, although I still have periods of self-doubt. My husband and I are about to meet up with Substacker Jeffrey Streeter (English Republic of Letters) for a drink (he lives in Tokyo). Now that makes me very happy!
Enjoy Japan. I sent you some suggestions. And REALLY pause. Japan will be magical if you let it.
I fall in the sweet spot, 67. I'm the happiest I've ever been, and that is very happy. I wouldn't be young again for anything, and I hope the people who believe in reincarnation are wrong. I don't want to come back and do this again. I'm happy where I am, and when it's over, enough is enough.
I get it. You've had a good ride and hope it will continue good for awhile, which it may well do. But enough is enough. That's another post.
I fall within the group that would like to be young again on one condition: That I have the life experience I now have. Since that's not possible, I will happily stay where I am.
We would all like that!!
I wouldn’t be young again for anything. At 75, I know who I am and what matters to me. I’m not fussed about looking older but would like a somewhat younger body, the arthritis less advanced. So ideally, I’d be in my 60s.
It’s been a busy day and I am only now getting back to writing comments. Because I have inordinately good health, I forget about those with irritating (and worse) diseases like arthritis. One’s sixties were definitely a good period, but they somehow flew by.
I think your point of view represents aging well, as I feel this way too at 77. I appreciate the free time we have without the distractions of job, children and single parenthood. For those of us with positive family relationships and sufficient income, we are able to enjoy this time. For many others, in more difficult circumstances (money, health, family concerns, being alone, etc.) I think the disadvantages of aging would make life more of a struggle.
You are quite right to remind me that there are many less fortunate than me, who are doubtless struggling with getting older for all sorts of reasons.
I love the thoughtful-looking photo, Ann, and your perspectives on ageing.
I like the benefit of experience that I have now at 64. I’m less raw than I was when I was younger. I think I’m more used to ups and downs. Very appreciative of family and friends and simple pleasures.
One’s sixties is a grand age. Enjoy it, as it does fly by.
And thanks for the comment on my photo, which I thought had the right air of wistfulness to suggest life was better now. I really have no memory of it being taken (or seeing it before), so it was kind of a nice surprise.
That's a beautiful photo of you! I'm in my 50s and love this era! I was a super self conscious youngster. Now I care less about what people think of me, confident of my decisions because I know I have the agency to be, and do. You are inspiring!
Thanks. I’m glad you are enjoying your 50s. I did too, but I can also honestly say that life got even easier with age. I have always been that overlooked kid in the playground or that quiet woman at a party. I never expected to inspire anyone, but just got on with things. But if I inspire you, that’s great. You might like my post called Just Keep Going -
I'm 83. My description of my self is that I don't look like it based on folks guessing no closer than 15 years. My best guess is that my infancy/very early childhood was not very stimulating My mother, in her fifties, did say that she followed the thinking at the time I was a little one; i.e., behavioristic I HATE that word. For example, let your baby/child cry, they will learn it will not get them what they want!!!! So the most interesting part of my life was what I was experiencing. So I started there and waited to see where it lead. Not surprisingly, I had the most fascinating career I could have imagined as a psychotherapist. Guess what my primary goal was? Focus on what the client (I detest the word "patient") is experiencing. Psychotherapy has never been on the right track. I call them "fixers" with theories that tell them what to do. So they don't have to think are their own!!! Sorry if I rambled a bit.
Hi, Jeffrey. I haven't heard from you for a long time. I didn't know you were on Substack or, indeed, watching what I write. Pleased to see you here, ramble or not.