Just Keep Going

Thought for the Fortnight

My friend, age 80, doing the splits on her new kitchen worktop

This is a post about being an older person, but it is really intended for people much younger. It is about thinking ahead, preparing well in advance.

I am 82 – and I stand on my head. You’re not surprised – it’s the name of my Substack, after all. If you’re curious and haven’t seen it already, you can see me do so here. It’s only two minutes.

I admit this activity is a bit unusual for someone my age, but it’s not unheard of. I know a number of other older women who do the same. Not to mention Paul McCartney. We all share a love of yoga.

But we also share something else. It’s a kind of dogged persistence. We all started yoga a long time ago and we just kept at it. I started rather late – at age 50. Many others started in their 30s or 40s. But we all just kept doing it.

It’s very simple – we didn’t stop – we just kept going.

Which is how you end up standing on your head at 82.  And doing many other things besides.

Keeping going

There is no hidden secret, no special product we take, no formula handed down from father to son, mother to daughter. Keeping going is what makes us older people who seem unusual do what we do.

First, we just keep breathing, thereby getting older day after day, year after year. It’s a good habit to get into. And quite necessary.

And second, we keep doing what we have always loved to do. Perhaps it is something practical, like cooking or carpentry – we not only continue but we also get better at it. Perhaps it is something with an artistic bent, such as writing or painting – we get better at that, too. Perhaps it is something more physical, like my yoga, where it is harder to get better, but you can still keep going.

My oldest friend is a dancer. She goes through a well established routine of exercising every muscle in her body once a day, every week, every year. I’ve seen her do it many a time ­– and this has kept up her ability to dance. It is her photo – doing the splits, taken when she was 80 – that accompanies this post. Her kitchen was being re-fitted and she had nipped up onto the worktop when the picture was taken. I know she doesn’t look 80, but that’s another story.

And today, funnily enough, after drafting most of this post, I went out for my weekly swim. I got chatting to a woman I had never seen before, in her mid-80s, and we discussed swimming, come rain or shine, at our age. She knew nothing about me or what I was writing. “The thing is”, she said, ”You just have to keep going.” And she told me about a friend of hers, aged 90, who walked 4-5 miles every morning.

What a wonderful coincidence.

Being inspiring or impressive

Many people have commented on the video of me standing on my head, noting that it is ‘inspiring’ or ‘impressive’ or words to that effect. That is lovely to hear and I hope it does inspire people. I made the video partly with that in mind.

But, but, but. I hope it would also inspire people to just keep going and do the things they want to do for as long as they can. This includes all the things they like to do – going for walks, planning a picnic, having sex. The full panoply of the stuff of life. Not saying “I am too old for…” No, you’re never too old for what you feel like doing.

A headstand is only impressive because of my age. It is a common enough yoga pose.  People all over the world do it every day and no one takes much note of them. The same is true of dancers doing the splits. Indeed, the recent Olympics shows people doing way more impressive things with their bodies.

This led me to question whether it should be thought of as impressive and my basic answer is no. Certainly no more impressive than if it was a 42 year old person doing it. 

People should see older people doing those things that seem unusual now much more often, because older people should be doing them much more often. Forty years ago, you never saw a young father pushing a pushchair (stroller). It just wasn’t done. Today, it is not worth noting – it is completely normal.

I want to see a world where older people – say age 70 and above – are climbing mountains or doing headstands or writing best sellers with no one giving it any thought. They do it because they always did it. And it is as normal as men out walking with toddlers. They just kept going.

What about all the impediments?

Yes, of course, not everyone will be able to keep going.  Many of us encounter major health problems that stop us in our tracks. Or divorces or bereavements that knock us seriously back for some period of time.

All sorts of impediments are waiting out there for us. House moves and elderly parents needing help and difficult children who must be attended to and… and… and…  I am well aware of the vicissitudes of life.

But these do not happen to everybody – nor do they necessarily stop us in our tracks permanently.

The take-away

Most of my posts don’t give advice. They just pursue ideas that come into my mind.  I hope they stimulate your thoughts or make you smile. But this one does have one very simple piece of advice. Just Keep Going. 

And preferably start early. It’s somewhere in middle-age, however defined, that the problems begin. Menopause can be a real downer. Demanding bosses want your time. Teenage kids have issues that need attention. Or there is empty next syndrome. And your body doesn’t feel so agile any more. So many opportunities to say wait, I could stop this – or this – or this.

But don’t. You will be glad of my advice. Later ages will be oh so different if you Just Keep Going.

I really appreciate comments. Although I love the process of writing, it is very rewarding to know that others are reading and being stimulated by what I write. So do please leave me your thoughts. I will respond to all of them.