You are old. Maybe time to swap the sofa for a couple of recliners. My husband, resistant at first, loves to doze in mine. We still have a sofa, but it’s harder and harder to push ourselves off it. I’d like to send it away and buy another recliner, but Robert resists.
I’m a decade younger than you but I absolutely empathise. That comfy armchair we thought of re-covering ten years ago, still doing service under a “throw” (which almost matches). And the treasured wallpaper in our bedroom - will it please last us out 😊
I have got a lot of empathy from readers and no one saying how could you live with cracked leather furniture, aren’t you embarrassed?? Well, we aren’t, we have no plans for inviting the King and Queen and our friends don’t care what the furniture looks like as long as they can sit on it!
Shopping has always been a necessary chore. A gritted teeth and bear it with a Stoic mindset as quickly and efficiently as possible excursion. I need a new mattress. A life-long side sleeper, my cranky, aging body has decided it will not tolerate the position any longer. It keeps rolling me onto my back, which is painfully rebelling. Since my dear husband died 10 years ago, I do not need nor want a queen-size bed. Hence, the decision to purchase a smaller bedframe and mattress to appease my ailing back. One item that needs to be touched and tested. One must lie on it. Struggle out of it. Sit on the edge of it and bend to put on socks and shoes. My older grandson is set to move into his first post-university apartment. So at least my brass bed of forty-five years will have a worthy home. But I still have to shop for a new bed and mattress to lay my weary head and cranky body and hope for a restful night's sleep. Say a prayer I am successful quickly.
I traded in the queen bed for a hospital bed a few years ago. Medicare bought the bed, as I am disabled. I like having the side rails to hoist myself upright. The mattress is foam, which is too bad, because it wears out every six months or so. I can tell because my hips ache in the morning. Still, it’s useful.
I know the feeling (not the sleeping part, but the hating shopping part) and wish you a quick success. It's not only that shopping was always horrible, but there seems to be more people around in the streets (not so much in department stores, which are wonderfully empty, thanks to people like you and me using the net for everything). Just enjoy when it is all over!
Guilty as charged. Wished I’d had your restraint - or disinterest - in acquisitions in younger years. What matters most now are the memories not the stuff. Once again, total admiration.
Thanks. I suspect there are a lot of people like us. I haven't been in a shop for ages, aside from local ones to buy milk etc. Oh yes, I did go for a bra fitting two weeks ago, which is something you really have to be there for.
Once again we agree. I hate shopping and try to be thrifty... until the tile in my kitchen and bathroom need regrouting, my bedroom floor needs replacing so when I walk barefoot I don't get splinters. However, one item I paid extra to have restored was my dishwasher... purchased when it use the appropriate amount of water to get my dishes clean. New restrictions here in New York City reduced the amount of water used in newer models. So, again, older can be better.
I think the basic message, Pat, is Living Can be a Big Nuisance! And I’ve been feeling my age recently although my 100 year old friend says you’re not old until you’re 90.
90% of my home is furnished via Craigslist, yard sale finds and hand-me-downs from friends and family. I don’t particularly love shopping…especially for big ticket items. So I don’t usually “hunt”. I just have a need or want in the back of my head and eventually the universe provides. Patience is key.
About the struggle justifying the expense and wanting to pass assets down to your grandkids….maybe new couches DO meet that goal. The old couches will just be one more thing that needs to be hauled to the dump after you’re gone. Newer ones can be sold for a bit of cash someday. Maybe you’re doing them a favor?
The key word is ‘patience’. I don’t think a sofa is going to fall out of the sky. As for a new couch having resell value - yes, but buying it costs a lot more, which reduces what we leave them. If it has to be done, so be it, but it won’t be an overall saving.
The upkeep of "stuff" is a pain, Ann, quite agree! Especially if it's an old faithful. I have a Laura Ashley sofa which is still sound but really needs recovering. The covers aren't available any more, so it would have to be an upholsterer's job. Waiting eternally for the rainy day fund for that one…
We did have that problem when four teenage boys (grandson and friends) came were coming at one time and we thought it was possible that they would break the sofa. We solved that problem by taking them directly to the kitchen! They could be fed at the same time!!
Yes, that, too, Ann! I tend to rev up when I absolutely have to, like when grandchildren are coming to stay and I suddenly look at the house from a child’s-eye perspective. Between times, though, not so motivated!
I loved this! I am 83 and have been stewing over replacing a refrigerator that has become problematic. Repairs failed. I don’t want a new “better” one.
I don’t want to shop for anything. Never did. Love all my shabby old (colorful, beautiful brocade) furniture. It can’t be replaced. Thank you for my morning smile.
Thank you. There should be a special club for all us oldies who don’t want to shop anymore. My fridge is built-in (the kitchen had just been ‘done’ when we bought it, which suited us perfectly) which means it has to have certain very specific dimensions! And I just broke the extractor fan since writing the article (I left a burner on very slightly and the heat broke something, which meant that the glass front crashed onto the floor) and it also has very specific dimensions. Oh dear…
Why not buy loose covers for your sofa and chairs? There are some nice ones available and you don’t even have to leave the house to buy them; this is where on line shopping comes in handy.
I can identify. As I age, I lose interest in possessions. I had a friend in her late 80s who gave me a lift somewhere. When I pointed out the side mirror was broken, she laughed and said she wasn’t planning to replace it at her age. She died not long after.
Yes, I don’t feel I am on death’s door, but enough in sight not to feel like getting new stuff. Ray was just saying that if you go around the house, you will see problems everywhere. I prefer not to look.
My wife and myself are in our mid to late seventies not that far behind you. We worked in basically non-professional jobs for 40 to 50 years of our lives and yet managed to put aside what we feel is enough money to last the rest of our lives.
I certainly don't know what the pay structure of the academic profession is in your vicinity, but where we live teachers probably make top wages for the county. Possibly the lawyers and maybe the bankers outpace them but they're up there in the higher wage earners.
In our situation, after 57 years of marriage, we've gone through two sets of everything couches, major appliances, minor appliances, and TVs. I don't for a moment think twice about the cost of replacing things as they wear out. Of course, who knows what the situation will be like after 3 and 1/2 years more of the current administration?
In the United States there are several rental companies or rent to own companies that can take care of both furniture and appliances. Maybe you could look into it. Good luck?
Thanks, Gene. I am American born but we live in the UK and academic pay is not huge. But that’s not really the point. Yes, we can afford to replace things, but we lack the energy and enthusiasm to do so. It’s the opposite of fun and not the way I want to spend my time. Neither of us care enough, although I vaguely feel we should.
I got lucky early on (after 30+ years of marriage) and found a local auction house that took in the discards of grandma's house, or a couple moving to Florida and selling off everything first. What bargains!!! I went faithfully to their Friday Night auction each week, with nothing in mind to buy. It was there that I learned the true value of furnishings and vowed to never buy "retail" again. Yes, my house is furnished in "early attic", but they're real mahogany, real oak and leather with most being already 75-100 years old and likely to last even longer than me. Married 59 years and counting.
Sounds like an excellent solution to the problem of ‘lasting’ furniture in general, Susan, although possibly not a sofa - at least as long as we have had ours. And it’s great if you like spending your time that way. I never did. And I am very bad at making decisions, so by the time I decided I DID like that sideboard, the auctioneer would have already been onto the next item!
Yes! The sofa! It's gotten more comfy in some ways but more beat up and needing some kind of cover! But we have cats, and they make us happy, but take over and annihilate our furniture no matter what.
I have no idea what we will leave our son (mostly memories!) and his cousins (again, memories), but we seem to be happy as we head beyond our 41st year of marriage.
Thank you for this post reminding us of what is truly important.
You are old. Maybe time to swap the sofa for a couple of recliners. My husband, resistant at first, loves to doze in mine. We still have a sofa, but it’s harder and harder to push ourselves off it. I’d like to send it away and buy another recliner, but Robert resists.
Not a bad idea. I will put it to my husband. Thank you, Fran.
I’m a decade younger than you but I absolutely empathise. That comfy armchair we thought of re-covering ten years ago, still doing service under a “throw” (which almost matches). And the treasured wallpaper in our bedroom - will it please last us out 😊
I have got a lot of empathy from readers and no one saying how could you live with cracked leather furniture, aren’t you embarrassed?? Well, we aren’t, we have no plans for inviting the King and Queen and our friends don’t care what the furniture looks like as long as they can sit on it!
Shopping has always been a necessary chore. A gritted teeth and bear it with a Stoic mindset as quickly and efficiently as possible excursion. I need a new mattress. A life-long side sleeper, my cranky, aging body has decided it will not tolerate the position any longer. It keeps rolling me onto my back, which is painfully rebelling. Since my dear husband died 10 years ago, I do not need nor want a queen-size bed. Hence, the decision to purchase a smaller bedframe and mattress to appease my ailing back. One item that needs to be touched and tested. One must lie on it. Struggle out of it. Sit on the edge of it and bend to put on socks and shoes. My older grandson is set to move into his first post-university apartment. So at least my brass bed of forty-five years will have a worthy home. But I still have to shop for a new bed and mattress to lay my weary head and cranky body and hope for a restful night's sleep. Say a prayer I am successful quickly.
I traded in the queen bed for a hospital bed a few years ago. Medicare bought the bed, as I am disabled. I like having the side rails to hoist myself upright. The mattress is foam, which is too bad, because it wears out every six months or so. I can tell because my hips ache in the morning. Still, it’s useful.
Thank you for sharing your experience with a foam mattress. Scratch that type off my "see, sit, and cost" list.
Thanks for the positive encouragement t!
I know the feeling (not the sleeping part, but the hating shopping part) and wish you a quick success. It's not only that shopping was always horrible, but there seems to be more people around in the streets (not so much in department stores, which are wonderfully empty, thanks to people like you and me using the net for everything). Just enjoy when it is all over!
Guilty as charged. Wished I’d had your restraint - or disinterest - in acquisitions in younger years. What matters most now are the memories not the stuff. Once again, total admiration.
Thanks very much.
I totally agree. I hate to shop and am so grateful for the internet to purchase most of what I need to buy. Thanks for a wonderful essay on stuff.
Thanks. I suspect there are a lot of people like us. I haven't been in a shop for ages, aside from local ones to buy milk etc. Oh yes, I did go for a bra fitting two weeks ago, which is something you really have to be there for.
Once again we agree. I hate shopping and try to be thrifty... until the tile in my kitchen and bathroom need regrouting, my bedroom floor needs replacing so when I walk barefoot I don't get splinters. However, one item I paid extra to have restored was my dishwasher... purchased when it use the appropriate amount of water to get my dishes clean. New restrictions here in New York City reduced the amount of water used in newer models. So, again, older can be better.
I think the basic message, Pat, is Living Can be a Big Nuisance! And I’ve been feeling my age recently although my 100 year old friend says you’re not old until you’re 90.
90% of my home is furnished via Craigslist, yard sale finds and hand-me-downs from friends and family. I don’t particularly love shopping…especially for big ticket items. So I don’t usually “hunt”. I just have a need or want in the back of my head and eventually the universe provides. Patience is key.
About the struggle justifying the expense and wanting to pass assets down to your grandkids….maybe new couches DO meet that goal. The old couches will just be one more thing that needs to be hauled to the dump after you’re gone. Newer ones can be sold for a bit of cash someday. Maybe you’re doing them a favor?
The key word is ‘patience’. I don’t think a sofa is going to fall out of the sky. As for a new couch having resell value - yes, but buying it costs a lot more, which reduces what we leave them. If it has to be done, so be it, but it won’t be an overall saving.
The upkeep of "stuff" is a pain, Ann, quite agree! Especially if it's an old faithful. I have a Laura Ashley sofa which is still sound but really needs recovering. The covers aren't available any more, so it would have to be an upholsterer's job. Waiting eternally for the rainy day fund for that one…
We did have that problem when four teenage boys (grandson and friends) came were coming at one time and we thought it was possible that they would break the sofa. We solved that problem by taking them directly to the kitchen! They could be fed at the same time!!
For me, Wendy, it’s not the rainy day fund, but the energy and the will. We both need to care enough to do something and we don’t.
Yes, that, too, Ann! I tend to rev up when I absolutely have to, like when grandchildren are coming to stay and I suddenly look at the house from a child’s-eye perspective. Between times, though, not so motivated!
I loved this! I am 83 and have been stewing over replacing a refrigerator that has become problematic. Repairs failed. I don’t want a new “better” one.
I don’t want to shop for anything. Never did. Love all my shabby old (colorful, beautiful brocade) furniture. It can’t be replaced. Thank you for my morning smile.
Janet in Tulsa
Thank you. There should be a special club for all us oldies who don’t want to shop anymore. My fridge is built-in (the kitchen had just been ‘done’ when we bought it, which suited us perfectly) which means it has to have certain very specific dimensions! And I just broke the extractor fan since writing the article (I left a burner on very slightly and the heat broke something, which meant that the glass front crashed onto the floor) and it also has very specific dimensions. Oh dear…
Why not buy loose covers for your sofa and chairs? There are some nice ones available and you don’t even have to leave the house to buy them; this is where on line shopping comes in handy.
That’s a good idea. I never much liked the look of loose covers, but they would be a hell of a lot better than cracked leather.
I can identify. As I age, I lose interest in possessions. I had a friend in her late 80s who gave me a lift somewhere. When I pointed out the side mirror was broken, she laughed and said she wasn’t planning to replace it at her age. She died not long after.
Yes, I don’t feel I am on death’s door, but enough in sight not to feel like getting new stuff. Ray was just saying that if you go around the house, you will see problems everywhere. I prefer not to look.
My wife and myself are in our mid to late seventies not that far behind you. We worked in basically non-professional jobs for 40 to 50 years of our lives and yet managed to put aside what we feel is enough money to last the rest of our lives.
I certainly don't know what the pay structure of the academic profession is in your vicinity, but where we live teachers probably make top wages for the county. Possibly the lawyers and maybe the bankers outpace them but they're up there in the higher wage earners.
In our situation, after 57 years of marriage, we've gone through two sets of everything couches, major appliances, minor appliances, and TVs. I don't for a moment think twice about the cost of replacing things as they wear out. Of course, who knows what the situation will be like after 3 and 1/2 years more of the current administration?
In the United States there are several rental companies or rent to own companies that can take care of both furniture and appliances. Maybe you could look into it. Good luck?
Thanks, Gene. I am American born but we live in the UK and academic pay is not huge. But that’s not really the point. Yes, we can afford to replace things, but we lack the energy and enthusiasm to do so. It’s the opposite of fun and not the way I want to spend my time. Neither of us care enough, although I vaguely feel we should.
I got lucky early on (after 30+ years of marriage) and found a local auction house that took in the discards of grandma's house, or a couple moving to Florida and selling off everything first. What bargains!!! I went faithfully to their Friday Night auction each week, with nothing in mind to buy. It was there that I learned the true value of furnishings and vowed to never buy "retail" again. Yes, my house is furnished in "early attic", but they're real mahogany, real oak and leather with most being already 75-100 years old and likely to last even longer than me. Married 59 years and counting.
Sounds like an excellent solution to the problem of ‘lasting’ furniture in general, Susan, although possibly not a sofa - at least as long as we have had ours. And it’s great if you like spending your time that way. I never did. And I am very bad at making decisions, so by the time I decided I DID like that sideboard, the auctioneer would have already been onto the next item!
Yes! The sofa! It's gotten more comfy in some ways but more beat up and needing some kind of cover! But we have cats, and they make us happy, but take over and annihilate our furniture no matter what.
I have no idea what we will leave our son (mostly memories!) and his cousins (again, memories), but we seem to be happy as we head beyond our 41st year of marriage.
Thank you for this post reminding us of what is truly important.
Thanks, Erika, yes leaving memories is much more important. Nobody wants your/our furniture anyway.