Happily Ever After...and Things

Thought for the Fortnight

A non-functioning lawn mower is just a piece of junk.

“And then they got married and lived happily ever after.” So ended so many stories I read as a child.

But no one believes this any more. Marriage isn’t like that.

Well, for me, life is a bit upside down. Anyone who has read my posts for awhile will know that I love being old, whereas I’m not so sure about being young. And for me, the first years of marriage were a bit of an ordeal. But for most of the time, especially the later years – we are now in our 80s – it has been absolutely wonderful.

Yes, we are one of those rare couples who lived ‘happily ever after’. If you are interested in what makes it so, I have written about a happy marriage here and the meaning of love here.

But my things are another matter altogether.

Things

I have never set a lot of store on things, by which I mean physical objects one can acquire. I didn’t when I was young and I still don’t.

We women are famous for being acquisitive – jewellery, casserole dishes, shoes – you name it, we are supposed to be always searching for the next thing to buy. They decorate our person, they enhance our houses, they make us feel good.

Not me.

I never much wanted things. A comfortable pair of shoes, yes, but an elegant pair? – no. Or lots of them? – definitely no. Dishes I could eat off, yes, but those that were in fashion? – no. And ‘good’ dishes for guests, definitely no.

And most of all, I loathed shopping. Retail therapy always seemed a contradiction in terms. The internet was a godsend for people like me.

Things fall apart

But all of a sudden, these famous Things are letting me down.

How dare they? It’s completely the wrong moment! Yes, it would have been OK when I was in my 40s or 50s, because then there was a nice long time to use the replacements. And I was more agile getting around shops and doing all that schlepping.

But now, I lack the energy. My husband even more so. It’s all such a faff.

Two weeks or so ago, my paper shredder just stopped shredding. I moved the dial and it made a grinding noise. I thought of getting it fixed, but decided it was simply easier to replace it.

Easy, on the net. Not so costly an item. And it was at least forty years old.

Then, a week ago, our lawn mower just stopped. We have a very small circular lawn, which sits nicely in our small garden. We had a simple electric mower and it worked, summer after summer, for the better part of fifty years.

I admired its tenacity and had begun to feel it would last forever. But that was not to be. Again, the only solution is a replacement. Grass doesn’t stop growing just because our lawn mower is kaput. Again, not so difficult on the net.

But worst of all is our sofa.

We always tried to furnish the places we lived in fairly cheaply, as we were in academic jobs and did not earn much. There was no moment of splashing out on ‘best’ things.

Just after we moved into our current house, nearly fifty years ago, my husband saw an ad for leather furniture at a huge discount. He had the bright idea that if we bought this, it would last well and would therefore be much cheaper ‘in the long run’.

I didn’t much like leather furniture, but I could see his point, and we bought a sofa and two chairs in a rich brown colour. I softened them with bright cushions, pictures on the wall and a nice carpet on the floor.

But we have now reached the famous ‘long run’. The leather furniture did last. And last. All this time.

The wear and tear of two kids, two grandkids and guests – not to mention ourselves – is finally showing. They are cracked here and there and look distinctly shabby. I even put dark tape over the worst cracks, but that only highlights the predicament.

Yes, our only choice is to buy new furniture. Which we won’t be using for all that long for obvious reasons.

We are loathe to spend the money. We would much prefer it to go to our two now teenage grandchildren who will be facing a mountain of debts after we’ve gone, with rising university and housing costs.

Such a waste to spend it on living room furniture at this stage of our lives. Not to mention the bother of finding new stuff. We have different physical requirements for what we want to sit on, not to mention different tastes. It will take ages to find something we could agree on.

And you can’t buy it without testing it. No internet here. Not for a living room sofa.

We have spent considerable time pondering the problem, but it is not yet resolved.

The truth of the matter is we don’t care enough. We ‘make do.’ We don’t like shopping, we don’t have the energy to go from place to place, we don’t even know where we will be in five years’ time.

The whole thing is a bit of a nightmare.

And yesterday, my husband said he thinks we need a new fridge.

I refuse to think about it.

Happily ever after

When I was young, I used to think that things sort-of worked out in the course of a life. You got married, you lived ‘happily ever after’ (or not) and your things lasted as long as you needed them to.

I imagined you bought all this stuff when you were young and then they were just ready for throwing away around the time you died.

Our marriage has lasted 62 years, but our stuff is letting us down, one by one.

I hate the mismatch.

Misery loves company. There must be loads of you with the same problem. Our mortal span and that of our goods are not well aligned. Go on, tell me all the things you need to replace. Make my day. Or perhaps you love shopping and do it all quiickly. Tell me how clever you are – I can take it.