54 Comments

Loved your post. Ann. I'm also a dancer who keeps dancing and stretching each day. I loved the photo of your friend. Does she have an online presence we can check out?

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My friend is very shy about being identified. I checked with her, of course, before posting the photo and she said it was fine as long as I didn’t give her name. She is/ was a belly dancer for years but due to family responsibilities and other things, was not hugely successful at it, although I thought she was very good.

How old are you? Are you still dancing?

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I am still dancing! I modify these days meaning I do not do big leaps or too much jumping. I have a barre in my room and full wall mirror. I use to teach adult ballet. I sometimes take class. I love the music, discipline, and the way it makes my body feel. I finally let go of the perfection and stopped comparing myself to my youthful dancing days.

Don't care to state my age though I belong in your group :) I also look. a lot younger. The doctors always asked me if my birthday is correct! But that brings its own insecurities that others don't really get. Long story...

Maybe your shy friend could adopt an online pseudonym. She sounds amazing. Have you ever seen Train with Joan? I think she's 80 now and transformed her body and health by taking up strength training. at age 72. She's now an Internet star.

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Inspiring!!!❤️ Thanks! Going through perimenopause, not fun! But keep going…

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Yes, each stage of life has its problems, but the secret is not to let them get you down.

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I love this Ann. If I have one thing, it's persistence. And so your admonition to "just keep going" brings me a lot of joy and hope. I have had, like everyone else, a lot of obstacles, but I get up and go back and do what I do. I want to continue, to swim, lift weights, do yoga, hike, do qigong, you name it. I want to continue to do what I've just begun, to write, and I want to find new things to do, hopefully, learn a language besides English. Thank you!

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My husband just popped in and I quoted my comment that persistence was 'my middle name'. He said no, it was more like my first name. He should know! And then he wondered if ever in the mists of time, there were women called 'persistence', like they were called 'constance' and other virtues. A nice idea. I thought I would pass it on.

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Amen! My husband would probably have a similar response to yours if I were to ask about my own tendencies. I would love to read that post!

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That post is in a folder called ‘future possibles’, called In Praise of Persistence. Watch this space.

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Watching!

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Most likely in the New Year as I have the current year more or less mapped out (but nothing subsequent).

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Persistence is good. Persistence is my middle name. I can be very annoying but I do keep going. You do much more than I do and much more than I did when I was younger. If you have persistence in your repertoire, you will do just fine. I never realised how important it was when I was younger (although I have had it all my life), but it gets you through to the end of whatever you start. I'd put money on your learning that language whatever it is. And write your heart out, read what you have written, go over it, improve it and let it out into the world. Hooray for persistence. You have inspired me, perhaps I will write a post about this little recognised virtue.

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Whenever I see a girl doing a handstand I tell her to keep doing it. I'm sure I last did a handstand when I was ten. Though a couple of times in yoga classes lately I have thought it might be accessible to me now... I am going to try one day soon! Head stands are not in my practice and I don't want them to be, I'm not sure I see the point.

I'm 43 and have had MS for at least ten years, though it's seven years since I was diagnosed. Running is my thing and I'm trying to keep that going for as long as I can, though my other disability hEDS and the vicissitudes of life (that is a great way of putting it!) are conspiring to slow me down.

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I don't urge everyone to do headstands. I love it, they are good for you, but there are many good reasons not to. I don't know much about MS but I think it is great that you try to keep doing as much as you can. I admire people who keep at it through a lot of difficulties - all I have to contend with is my age, which means I am more easily tired. My first yoga teacher (30 years ago) was 80 and Mr Iyengar was practising yoga into his 90s until he died, so it is definitely an older people's 'sport'.

PS. I could do handstands until 5 or so years ago, but I needed to give help to get up. Once up, I was good for a minute or so,

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Funny. When I was on holiday with my parents in about 1972 and trying, failing and annoying the bloke who was trying to teach me to water ski I was considered nothing but a useless 16 year old.

Trying again - and failing in exactly the same way in 2012 (at the ripe old age of 56) there were people on the beach applauding, congratulating me for trying and buying me drinks.

We live in terribly agist times.

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My apologies. I just realised that I recommended a post to you that you had already liked! I was reading down all the ‘activity’ that happened since I last looked.

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never apologise - we need a filofax!

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too true!

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Yup. But another way in which it is nicer to be older. although. not one I had thought of before. I have spent a lot of time thinking about how it is nicer. https://arichardson.substack.com/p/all-my-future-is-behind-me

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I think 61 got to me quite badly - 41 was similar. Numbers seem suddenly to leap forward in 5s.

And every second intensifies - bright is brighter, grief deeper, sex another country, food almost as good as sex; friends are more rounded; I know who I am and every rapid day is a roller-coaster of breath and water, fire and earth.

Thank you for your fab posts. CC

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Thanks very much. I never get tired of hearing people like reading what I write. I don’t know how many you have read, but I do emphasise the joys of being old. The numbers keep on coming…perhaps 71 will be a problem for you but just remember it is a long way back for me. You might like

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My number is now 71, and I've been feeling the old. Reading your words is a breath of fresh air as I begin this whole new "career", Ann ✍️. Makes me have hope and Continuing Wonderment!! Thank you!!!

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Well, I am pleased if I can offer a breath of fresh air – someone said I was 'a breath of fresh air' recently and I thought that was a lovely compliment. I think you can do most things at 80 that you could do at 50 if you keep fit. And I am very surprised to hear myself saying that because I was NEVER a keep-fit fanatic. But I started yoga at age 50 and do it every week (as well as a 20 minute swim every week) and I am both strong and flexible, which makes. the possibilities in life so much greater. Find what you like to do and do it and the world opens up. Good luck.

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I am all for this concept (Just Keep Going). I went to college for seven years beginning at age 50 and since then began painting watercolors at around 60 and started Pilates at 70. I'm now 73 and am learning Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop and doing fabric design. This is all crazy stuff when you add that in between these activities I've had two major brain surgeries and have just finished a round of radiation. It sounds impressive, but frankly, it just seems like me. I don't know how else to be in the world.

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Yes, that all sounds harder than standing on your head! But I agree, I don't know how else to be in this world. That's just how I feel.

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Love it Ann. I started my daily yoga practice at 40, and at 51 it's still going strong, so I hope to follow in your footsteps 😀

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You can do better than me, since I didn't start until I was 50. Loads of people could do better than me, but they need to not only START doing things (a good beginning) but to also KEEP GOING through thick and thin. The older you get, the easier it is to find excuses to stop. What I am saying to all of you (and no one told me) is that it is really worth while to keep going, because you feel great when you get to my age. And no one I meet believes I am anywhere near 80, much less over it.

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You are a great role model Ann 😀

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I love this, just what I needed to read today. I'm 43 and you're right, there are always excuses to stop, but you have inspired me to keep going - I like that you acknowledge the crappy events of life but that shouldn't stop us ❤️ I love yoga, did it regularly in my late 20's/early 30's, time to get back to doing the things that make me feel alive. I'm glad I found your substack 😊

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Thanks. I’m glad it helped. I never liked any form of exercise, but did swim at your age and go to the occasional exercise class. But it is easy to not notice that you are letting things go. Even when I started yoga at 50, it never occurred to me that it would be a good way to prevent problems twenty years later. But looking back, I am sure it did. Good luck getting started and then keeping going.

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I agree with Ann, but this is hardly surprising because we had the same parents. I understand, however, that to keep going into old age we have to make some allowance for our physical changes and that it never hurts to try something new if we have to forgo some of our traditional activities. I continue to write, to make public speeches, and to mentor young people--all things I had to do as a professor-- but I was happy to give up grading papers and attending faculty meetings.

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I am not arguing that we should keep doing the things we never liked doing – just the things that 'light us up' as @AllisonDeraney says below. Nor am I saying that we shouldn't find new things - it's great when we do, but that is just a different post with a different set of thoughts.

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I’m 46 and I’m finally giving life to the writer in me. Something I stopped doing because life got busy. This post reminded me of all the reasons why we should not stop. Just keep going and doing what lights us up. That is what keeps our spirit young. The body will follow.

I love that I found you, Ann!

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Yes, that's exactly the word I was looking for - what LIGHTS us up! I might steal/borrow it for future use. Thanks.

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I'm super proud that I can do a headstand! I'm 36, and have done yoga for a year here and there during my adult life. Mmm the elusive Keep on going. It seems elusive to me, because my desires and values and how I feel about things shift so much. And most things I take on, eventually fall back into the mist of history. Perhaps it has to do with this period of my life where I have been experimenting and reevaluating a lot. But if I take it on as an encouragement for that: "Just keep going. Keep on finding deeper and more authentic and personal truths about how to live your own life well". I heard one person put it simply as "The adventure of figuring out what you want". I like an adventure. I wish I had more of that positive outlook on during the years where it all felt more like a desperate grasping into the dark. Just keep going! ❤️

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At 36, you have a hell of a lot of life left and experimenting is exactly what you should be doing. Yes, life is an adventure and I agree with your friend. One reason a lot of us older people actually like being old is because we finally feel comfortable wth ourselves and our choices. My view is the 20s is a washout period when you THINK you are grown up and should have it all figured out, but few people do. I don't think you should keep on going for the sake of it, but when you find something you like. They feel old at 40 or 50 when they should be being vigorous. So keep my words in mind as you age but keep on with your experimentation now. Good luck to you.

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"20s is when you THINK you should have it all figured out". Yes like that! But actually I thought I had most of it figured out in my 20s, it was end 20s I realized how I really didn't. So for me 28-35 (I'm not fully 36 yet, not sure why i wrote it above): Washout period. Perhaps there will be more of them also? Times to let go, reevaluate, find and choose something new, be a bit in crisis.

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You probably won't be surprised to hear this, but I think you have plenty of time to find yourself. Do what you do, think about it, yes, reevaluate and at some point, you will have a moment of saying YES, this really suits me. And all those experiences become part of you and that's ok - indeed it is good, because we learn as we go along and learning makes us who we are. So many people think that us 'crumblies' (as my son used to call his grandparents) don't know anything, but actually it is we who know so much, because we have done so much living. Onwards and upwards for you.

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Onwards and upwards towards the wisdom of the crumblies 🌞🙏

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You just passed this granny's wisdom school with flying colours!

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🌟 certified precocious

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Thank you Ann. This Juvenile Geriatric likes advice 😁

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I am generally very reluctant to tell anyone else how to live their lives, so it is only a rare event. I think it stems from the fact that my parents felt they knew exactly how other people should live – and I rebelled against their certainty. Once in awhile, however, I let myself go!

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I think you successful tamed the advice monster. You spoke of the lessons you’ve already learned and that’s how it came across 😊

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I belong to our senior center, on the advisory board… so expected to try classes, support them. My yoga is 90 also once a week. I don’t do anything as much/as fast/as long as I used too. Slowing a bit is okay as long as we do something consistent. Morning walks is my thing and Pickleball 2x a week. Bad shoulder and it’ll hurt the next day but that’s okay. Yes I remember Gypsy Lee … made me laugh out loud when I read “gotta have a gimmick!” 😅We never stay up that long, it’s our inversion at end of class. Absolutely your writing is serious, important topics and meaningful content…the way you weave it all so nicely! 😊🥰

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Love this Ann! I watched the video… yay you! I do it against the wall ..whole class does, so I’ve never thought of it as other than a pose. The most important thing you stated is to start now, start young! I’ve been doing yoga since my mid 50’s I’d say… but also 5, 10Ks, Zumba, line dancing.. what ever gyms were offering. I still do a lot of cardio and yoga. Keep going! Great post…so glad I found you here! 😊🤗❤️

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Thanks. Sounds like you do more than me. I do one 90 minute yoga class a week and one swim a week, plus a lot of walking because I don't own a car. I would love to do dancing, but don't like line dancing or Scottish dancing, which is very popular here. I wrote a post about how I always wanted to be a dancer (The Road Less Travelled) but ended up a researcher, which was much better for managing with a family - and better for my brain. As you know, standing on your head is not the hardest thing to do in yoga at all - I really love being upside down. But my good friend (the one doing the splits) suggested I make a video and her partner put it together for me – and then the obvious thing was to put it on Substack and here we are. Do you remember the movie of Gypsy Rose Lee ("You gotta have a gimmick")? Sometimes, I think my headstand is just my gimmick. I do like to think my writing is a bit more serious than my headstand.

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I agree that it would be great if it was normal for 90 year old people to go for long walks or do the splits/stand on their head or whatever and we should expect to be able to do it rather than to sit in a chair and vegetate. Our local news recently showed a woman celebrating her 102nd birthday by skydiving for the first time and when they interviewed her she sounded so interesting and interested. A lesson to learn.

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Yes, I read about her. I have a yen to do paragliding before I die, but I'm not sure I ever will. The main thing is not feats of derring-do but keeping your brain awake and alive. If you have mud-spattered boots, perhaps you are more likely to do such things. I live in the middle of London.

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Fantastic advice and post! I’m 55 but this inspires me to just keep going too! Your friend in the photo doing the splits is radiating joy - this is surely key to looking and feeling far younger than our years. (Not to mention friendship 💛) Here’s to maintaining our joy and zest for life despite any setbacks or the hard times.

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Excellent, Kahena. I write a lot for older people (I know Kamala is seen as an older woman, but not really to me!) but I realised as I was writing this post, that I really needed to get to people your age. It really is that simple. Both my friend and I have always looked young for our age (we met at 19) but I think our attitude to life and having fun helps a lot. Good luck to you.

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