16 Comments

Please leave me alone. I am a happily married 82 year old grandmother and am not looking for your friendship

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Hi please reply I text you

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Hey pretty sorry for intruding I just want to wish you the best this December

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The day before a transatlantic flight, I used to stock up on paperbacks so I’d have a book for any mood. This was before e-books, and the physical volumes had a satisfying, luxurious presence.

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Physical volumes still do, but I do like the light weight quality of my kindle, especially for travelling. I don't travel so much anymore, except the occasional trip to the continent (what the English call the rest of Europe),

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I’m from a different world - rural Australia. If I want anything in my little village, I walk - a great opportunity to commune with nature, wave to the neighbours, talk to the dogs and to think gentle Me thoughts. When I go further afield, it’s a 20 to 40-minute drive. I can be running around frantically at home and then I get into the car and I just ‘ooze’, so relaxed knowing that I’ve done everything I can and that I now have a lovely stretch of time to just Be as I head towards where I need to go.

I was raised in a family where some people focused on the destination but Dad and I always loved the journey. It’s such a precious part of the trip!

A lovely topic. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. 🤗🤗

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Yes, I liked the topic too and think it could be extended in all sorts of ways, as you point out very well. Incidentally, I live in the middle of London, do not have a car and walk a great deal just doing errands. I have thought sometimes that although the views are distinctly different, inner urban people and semi-rural people do have this in common. My daughter-in-law whose folks live in a medium sized town say they drive absolutely everywhere.

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"Liminal space" is how I would think of it. Liminal space, in all its many forms, makes us so uncomfortable. We feel desperate to fill it. But, sometimes, it's in the liminal that we find the most meaning and depth. I enjoyed reading this and love that you and your grandson now share the joy of writing!

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I reluctantly admit that 'liminal space' is a phrase I have heard, but never really grappled with. I asked my retired academic husband and he was in the same position. So I looked it up, read it out and we proceeded to discuss it. It is a fascinating concept, with so many different exemplars – and I wish I could write this again to fit liminal space into the argument. Thanks so much for that. Like my grandson, you have also taught me something new. People say old people never learn anything new, but don't believe it – it's one of the great joys in life.

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I also hadn't heard of the phrase until a few years ago. But, it's one that's been very helpful to keep handy in my toolbox! I've learned a lot about allowing myself to just be in the in-between from Barbara Brown Taylor. I'd love to read an article from you fitting liminal space into the argument! I completely agree. If I'm not learning, I'm not living! :) Thanks for replying to my comment!

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Well, that's a nice little challenge, but I'm afraid I don't work that way. I think about what I want to write about and then find the words. Still, I will tuck it into the back of my brain and if I can find a way of using it, I will.

When my grandson was small and learning a lot of words, I noticed that he always found a way of using a new word in a sentence soon after we had taught him. Such a good way to really learn meanings. I never knew whether his parents taught him that or he thought that up on his own.

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I totally agree with that special space between traveling to a destination and arriving. Yes, to reflection. Even to read a book. But it is the amount of time simply relaxing that is so special.

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Yes, I feel I only scratched the surface of the issues, but what surprised me is that before discussing it with said grandson, I never thought about it before.

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I agree that travel time is important as we move from one role to another. I live opposite an infants school and hear the children talking about their day to their parents. They’re not yet old enough to have this time alone but l think it’s really valuable time to process all that has happened to them during the school day.

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Thanks for commenting, Barbara, When you think about it, children tend to have very little time completely on their own and I think they (or some) grab it when they can. The same can be true of adults - I wrote a post over a year ago about finding time on one's own when you are long married, like myself: https://arichardson.substack.com/p/finding-time-on-your-own.

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Read your post and totally agree. Time alone in a long term relationship is vital, certainly wouldn’t have survived 49 years of marriage without it.

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