I really loved this post! Growing up in the early 2000's and with social media culture, it seemed like fame was attainable and that everyone would have their fifteen minutes eventually. I'm very happy to report that I have never had my 15 minutes and am quite happy never having them in my life. Everyone wants to be noticed, adored, and important. It's better to have those things from the people you love in your real life rather than strangers on the internet. Thank you so much for your words and wisdom, Ann :)
Yes, we really do, Jeannine. Somehow, he is the first person I want to share things with and want to have his views and he feels the same way. And we still surprise each other with what we say! So much to talk about these days.
Absolutely loved this piece! Made me reflect on how the world (both outside and inside) can push us to constantly amplify ourselves, to become someone grand and impressive. But it feels like it’s better to slow down and give yourself a chance to be impressed by the ordinary and beautiful. Thank you!
My apologies for not responding sooner, Anya. I try to keep up with comments, but am not always successful. You put it very well yourself - just 'be impressed by the ordinary and beautiful' – I didn't say that, you did!
Thank you Ann! What a great post! When I was a child I dreamed of being a concert pianist and becoming famous like Rubinstein who I saw in London - it was a dream come true to see him play in person. But, fame and fortune of the $ kind was not to be for me - I swapped piano and the pursuit of fame for social work and now coaching and writing and am grateful I did. I'm now watching and cheering on my son who is a country music singer in Canada - I'm proud of what he's achieving but also know that the road to fame can be a tough one, a grind. It comes with an amazing feeling when on stage performing for thousands, which is why he does it, but behind the scenes there's always the politics, the fight, etc. which makes for a bumpy, uncertain ride. So, in the meantime, life goes on and I cherish the life I/we have without fame and fortune!
Thanks so much. I was planning to publish something else altogether when the spirit suddenly moved me to start writing this - I have no idea why. I was less interested in my own fame than in my parents’ attitudes and then it just developed. One of the joys of writing - it just goes where it goes and then you just give it a check to see that it is coherent as a whole.
Thank you! Fame is rarely “achieved” no matter how hard today’s self-proclaimed Influencers would like to believe. Fame is earned and is a result of connection to others.
Oooh, Gene Kelly! You are special. I don't think I've ever met anyone famous. I once lived next door to an elderly lady in Florida who used to babysit for President John Kennedy's children when Caroline and little John were very young. Does that count? She had so many funny stories to tell.
My apologies, Nancy. I thought I replied to everyone earlier, but then I had a thought - did I reply to the lady knowing Kennedy's babysitter? And I hadn't. Just an accidental oversight. I think that definitely counts. Lots of inside stories that you never would have got if you met Kennedy himself.
It ia a 'fun' thing to know about me, but somewhat diminished by my not remembering a thing. I'm told I was a very cute little kid (always small and usually smiling) so why not pick me up and dance!
We are of a shared age, attitude, and repeated minor brushes with major fame. So glad to make your acquaintance. I have laid a place for you at my imaginary dinner with fascinating minds and worthy lives.
Ann, I love reading your words. I cannot get enough of watching Gene Kelly dance, I would choose to believe your mother’s version, and let everyone know that you once danced with Gene Kelly!
In this day, fame is a bit scary to me. The internet loves to embrace someone one minute and tear them apart the next. Even a bit of Substack “fame” would freak me out. As a writer with one book that did not sell well, I wanted a bit of writerly fame, but do not want to do the marketing that they say is required.
I would guess that I did dance with Gene Kelly (a lovely sentence, if ever there was one), albeit perhaps briefly. The sad thing is I have no memory of it whatsoever. I was just three. My husband thinks I am famous on Substack because I have 1400+ subscribers, no matter how often I try to disabuse him of the fact.
Yes, do what they might, parents don't really succeed in turning you into what they want. My brother just emailed me in response to this post and said that our mother wanted him to become a fiction writer, whereas he became an academic specialising in Arab/Middle East matters and is most famous for his textbooks.
Love your writing, Ann! I am of the view that only those who don't want fame should be famous; they seem to handle the ego load much better! So here's to you and fame! ;)
No, thanks. I want to be able to walk out of my front door looking like a heap (mind you, Helena Bonham Carter lives in my neighbourhood and she does exactly that - it's a brilliant disguise, her stunning beauty lost in lots of completely wrong clothes.). And thanks for the compliment. I love to hear that.
Fame? I couldn't think of anything I'd want less. I do appreciate being known and appreciated by a small number of people, clients, and friends I respect. That's why Substack is so nice. It gives you an appreciative circle of like-minded souls who build each other up - without any of the downsides of being too visible in a social media world gone mad.
As for names, my maiden name is Wittenberg, which I thought was also much improved by adding my first husband's name on at the end. Wittenberg-Cox seemed suddenly and immeasurably more chic. I married again but kept the name, although the French make you ask permission of your ex for the right! It keeps a labelling connection with the kids.
Apologies, Avivah. I seem to have missed a few comments earlier, although I thought I had responded to them all. As I only ever had one husband, the issue never arose, but I know that my son, an academic, felt that being a Richardson was rather humdrum, so he added his name to his wife's and he is the only one with that name on the whole of Google. Each to their own.
I really loved this post! Growing up in the early 2000's and with social media culture, it seemed like fame was attainable and that everyone would have their fifteen minutes eventually. I'm very happy to report that I have never had my 15 minutes and am quite happy never having them in my life. Everyone wants to be noticed, adored, and important. It's better to have those things from the people you love in your real life rather than strangers on the internet. Thank you so much for your words and wisdom, Ann :)
Thank you, Ally. Look inside yourself wherever you can and learn, learn, learn.
I love that you and your husband find each other to be interesting still! Gives me hope! Hahaha!
Yes, we really do, Jeannine. Somehow, he is the first person I want to share things with and want to have his views and he feels the same way. And we still surprise each other with what we say! So much to talk about these days.
Absolutely loved this piece! Made me reflect on how the world (both outside and inside) can push us to constantly amplify ourselves, to become someone grand and impressive. But it feels like it’s better to slow down and give yourself a chance to be impressed by the ordinary and beautiful. Thank you!
My apologies for not responding sooner, Anya. I try to keep up with comments, but am not always successful. You put it very well yourself - just 'be impressed by the ordinary and beautiful' – I didn't say that, you did!
A lovely post, Ann.
Thank you, June. I was going to write on something else and this one just floated into my brain. Funny how that works!
A particularly charming one! Thanks.
I love your Gene Kelly claim to fame, Ann! Even if you can’t remember it!
Yes, it is a nice thought.
Thank you Ann! What a great post! When I was a child I dreamed of being a concert pianist and becoming famous like Rubinstein who I saw in London - it was a dream come true to see him play in person. But, fame and fortune of the $ kind was not to be for me - I swapped piano and the pursuit of fame for social work and now coaching and writing and am grateful I did. I'm now watching and cheering on my son who is a country music singer in Canada - I'm proud of what he's achieving but also know that the road to fame can be a tough one, a grind. It comes with an amazing feeling when on stage performing for thousands, which is why he does it, but behind the scenes there's always the politics, the fight, etc. which makes for a bumpy, uncertain ride. So, in the meantime, life goes on and I cherish the life I/we have without fame and fortune!
I meant to add my good wishes to your son. Sounds like a tough gig and I know how we worry about our children.
Thanks so much!
Thanks so much. I was planning to publish something else altogether when the spirit suddenly moved me to start writing this - I have no idea why. I was less interested in my own fame than in my parents’ attitudes and then it just developed. One of the joys of writing - it just goes where it goes and then you just give it a check to see that it is coherent as a whole.
Yes, I love writing for that!
Thank you! Fame is rarely “achieved” no matter how hard today’s self-proclaimed Influencers would like to believe. Fame is earned and is a result of connection to others.
I have no idea how one becomes famous, but it doesn't matter to me.
Oooh, Gene Kelly! You are special. I don't think I've ever met anyone famous. I once lived next door to an elderly lady in Florida who used to babysit for President John Kennedy's children when Caroline and little John were very young. Does that count? She had so many funny stories to tell.
My apologies, Nancy. I thought I replied to everyone earlier, but then I had a thought - did I reply to the lady knowing Kennedy's babysitter? And I hadn't. Just an accidental oversight. I think that definitely counts. Lots of inside stories that you never would have got if you met Kennedy himself.
Fame-adjacent will have to do, for this lifetime anyway. Great essay!
Yes, fame-adjacent is about right. And the place to be.
A dance with Gene Kelly! How wonderful. 🤗🤗💕
It ia a 'fun' thing to know about me, but somewhat diminished by my not remembering a thing. I'm told I was a very cute little kid (always small and usually smiling) so why not pick me up and dance!
We are of a shared age, attitude, and repeated minor brushes with major fame. So glad to make your acquaintance. I have laid a place for you at my imaginary dinner with fascinating minds and worthy lives.
What a fabulous dinner that would be! I accept the invitation with great pleasure.
Ann, I love reading your words. I cannot get enough of watching Gene Kelly dance, I would choose to believe your mother’s version, and let everyone know that you once danced with Gene Kelly!
In this day, fame is a bit scary to me. The internet loves to embrace someone one minute and tear them apart the next. Even a bit of Substack “fame” would freak me out. As a writer with one book that did not sell well, I wanted a bit of writerly fame, but do not want to do the marketing that they say is required.
I would guess that I did dance with Gene Kelly (a lovely sentence, if ever there was one), albeit perhaps briefly. The sad thing is I have no memory of it whatsoever. I was just three. My husband thinks I am famous on Substack because I have 1400+ subscribers, no matter how often I try to disabuse him of the fact.
How I love the Gene Kelly story—and where you landed happily in spite of your father’s prediction of fame.
Yes, do what they might, parents don't really succeed in turning you into what they want. My brother just emailed me in response to this post and said that our mother wanted him to become a fiction writer, whereas he became an academic specialising in Arab/Middle East matters and is most famous for his textbooks.
Parents should keep these opinions to themselves.
Love your writing, Ann! I am of the view that only those who don't want fame should be famous; they seem to handle the ego load much better! So here's to you and fame! ;)
No, thanks. I want to be able to walk out of my front door looking like a heap (mind you, Helena Bonham Carter lives in my neighbourhood and she does exactly that - it's a brilliant disguise, her stunning beauty lost in lots of completely wrong clothes.). And thanks for the compliment. I love to hear that.
Fame? I couldn't think of anything I'd want less. I do appreciate being known and appreciated by a small number of people, clients, and friends I respect. That's why Substack is so nice. It gives you an appreciative circle of like-minded souls who build each other up - without any of the downsides of being too visible in a social media world gone mad.
As for names, my maiden name is Wittenberg, which I thought was also much improved by adding my first husband's name on at the end. Wittenberg-Cox seemed suddenly and immeasurably more chic. I married again but kept the name, although the French make you ask permission of your ex for the right! It keeps a labelling connection with the kids.
Apologies, Avivah. I seem to have missed a few comments earlier, although I thought I had responded to them all. As I only ever had one husband, the issue never arose, but I know that my son, an academic, felt that being a Richardson was rather humdrum, so he added his name to his wife's and he is the only one with that name on the whole of Google. Each to their own.