This was such a lovely read. The news is so grim and there is so much ugliness going on that that reading this felt like respite care! I found it so reassuring and give thanks for such kindness.
Thanks. I worked in a hospice as a volunteer for four years roughly 30 years ago and was very impressed with the care given. And I became fascinated with what it must be like to go to work every day with people who were dying. This was the genesis of my book which included the interview with Fiona. All the people interviewed were incredibly impressive. I try to give them a chance to talk to the wider world from time to time (although the book still sells well). You might also like my post "What can we learn from a hospice chef? https://arichardson.substack.com/p/what-can-we-learn-from-a-hospice. The book is theme based, not just one interview after another, so I had to go back to the initial interview to create this post (but it was no hardship to do so!)
I hope you find it interesting. I think most people do. They also find it reassuring to know that the people who work with the dying can be so thoughtful, although not everyone has the good fortune to get hospice care (or other care of a similar quality).
I am a great admirer of the hospice movement. It's a pity there aren't more hospices. IMO they should be integrated into the health service. Just before Christmas my mother passed away in a hospital after a short illness. She was 93 years old. Individually staff were very caring and I was fortunate enough to be with her when she took her last breath but the hospital was clearly stretched and eager for her to be discharged. My poor mum who had already been moved around a lot within the hospital had become a 'bed blocker'. I wish she could have been discharged to a hospice but sadly it didn't happen.
Hi, Paul. I am sorry to learn about your mother. After all your work on this very project, you deserved to have a wonderful hospice for your mother. Wishing you well.
Me neither. I was originally American but live in England and have never met anyone who has heard of him over here. But I am aware of the resemblance and actually conscious of the different ways we approach the material (he gives more text which I think can sometimes get boring, I edit more to make it more readable). There was a woman from Georgia who won a Nobel Prize a few years back by using the same technique (although I was always a bit suspicious of HER editing, because her interviews spoke in unnaturally poetic passages, from those I saw). So I plough my own little field, quietly approaching interesting subjects, but no fame or fortune!!
Thank you for your writing. I have great respect for Hospice. I think it is interesting how at the end people want to share deep thoughts and feelings. Glad someone is there to listen and be a witness to their sharing!
Yes, I 'invented' the idea of writing books the way Studs Terkel did, but only discovered him later. He won a Pulitzer Prize. I won a Substack! But I love working with really deep interviews with people - you have to cut them down and cut out a lot of repetition (everyone speaks repetitively, even me), but you are left with is pure gold.
"I could sit him down and go through what I do in a day – and he would need a whiskey at the end of it. So, I have the whiskey myself." This made me laugh. What a beautiful interview and perspective. I haven't had much experience with hospice, some with death. I'm guaranteed to get more. Thank you Ann.
We all get more and more experience of death as we grow older. Mine began with a close friend who died from AIDS in the early 90s which, making a long story short, resulted in my writing a book about people dying from AIDS, all told in the first person like this one. I felt very privileged to interview people like these.
It does seem like a really wonderful privilege to talk with people about these things (death). Aging does give us practice, which I’m grateful for (and I’m have no desire to diminish grief when I say that) because the increasing closeness of death helps me nudges me to think about my own.
I haven't had a close experience with death, although I know that will come with loved ones and my own journey. I really appreciate the perspective shared here. It's such an important conversation that many of us are not entirely familiar or comfortable with. It's odd, in a way; out of all the things that can happen in a human life, death is the one thing we are all guaranteed.
That's the way I feel (that it will come to us all). Getting especially closer to me, although, interestingly, I am not obsessed with it. But for many years I have been fascinated by how it affects us, how we approach it, how much we can learn from those who deal with it on a daily basis. Thank you for commenting.
I do not dwell on my own death, as Maria Hanley said, " It is guaranteed." But, I do, often, think of my wife of close to 60 years being left when I go. Aside from the grief, which I have shared with her as each and every member of her immediate family passed, I am not sure she could handle it. For that reason, alone, I hope she goes first. I will be sad, but I can go on.
I want to thank you, Ann, for the thought provoking posts you have shared. They make us stop and think of unspoken scenarios we'd possibly (probably) not dwell on if not prodded by folks such as yourself. Thank You, Gene.
I don't know whether you have seen it, Gene, but I decided to write a Note about your last comment and this Note has had a fair amount of attention (38 likes, 10 comments and 5 restacks). The Note said:
“One of the great joys of Substack is having a reader tell you that they really appreciate what you do.
Today I received a comment on a post about hospice care
“I want to thank you, Ann, for the thought-provoking posts you have shared. They make us stop and think of unspoken scenarios we’d possibly (probably) not dwell on if not prodded by folks such as yourself.”
Similar to you, Gene, I have been married 61+ years and very much relate to your comments. My husband and I assume that he will die first (he is older and has more health problems) but you never know. We both think that I will cope better than he will, but there's not a goddam thing you can do about how it will play out.
And thanks for appreciating my posts. I think you will see that I set out to stimulate people to think about new things (and occasionally to make them smile), so it is really nice to hear it is appreciated.
This was such a lovely read. The news is so grim and there is so much ugliness going on that that reading this felt like respite care! I found it so reassuring and give thanks for such kindness.
Thanks. I worked in a hospice as a volunteer for four years roughly 30 years ago and was very impressed with the care given. And I became fascinated with what it must be like to go to work every day with people who were dying. This was the genesis of my book which included the interview with Fiona. All the people interviewed were incredibly impressive. I try to give them a chance to talk to the wider world from time to time (although the book still sells well). You might also like my post "What can we learn from a hospice chef? https://arichardson.substack.com/p/what-can-we-learn-from-a-hospice. The book is theme based, not just one interview after another, so I had to go back to the initial interview to create this post (but it was no hardship to do so!)
great to re-visit something so positive (if you know what i mean!)
Hospice workers are angels on this earth. My copy of your book just arrived and I look forward to reading more of your interviews. Thank you, Ann!
I hope you find it interesting. I think most people do. They also find it reassuring to know that the people who work with the dying can be so thoughtful, although not everyone has the good fortune to get hospice care (or other care of a similar quality).
This is so moving. The love she gave shines through.
Thank goodness for her and others like her.
Mea culpa, Kathy. I missed your comment back in January. Thank you for reading and commenting. I will probably write more on hospice care over time.
I am a great admirer of the hospice movement. It's a pity there aren't more hospices. IMO they should be integrated into the health service. Just before Christmas my mother passed away in a hospital after a short illness. She was 93 years old. Individually staff were very caring and I was fortunate enough to be with her when she took her last breath but the hospital was clearly stretched and eager for her to be discharged. My poor mum who had already been moved around a lot within the hospital had become a 'bed blocker'. I wish she could have been discharged to a hospice but sadly it didn't happen.
Hi, Paul. I am sorry to learn about your mother. After all your work on this very project, you deserved to have a wonderful hospice for your mother. Wishing you well.
Beautiful. You're a bit of a Studs Terkel.
WOW! Had not heard Studs Terkels name in 60 some years, but you nailed it!
Me neither. I was originally American but live in England and have never met anyone who has heard of him over here. But I am aware of the resemblance and actually conscious of the different ways we approach the material (he gives more text which I think can sometimes get boring, I edit more to make it more readable). There was a woman from Georgia who won a Nobel Prize a few years back by using the same technique (although I was always a bit suspicious of HER editing, because her interviews spoke in unnaturally poetic passages, from those I saw). So I plough my own little field, quietly approaching interesting subjects, but no fame or fortune!!
Yes, it is good to know.
Thank you for your writing. I have great respect for Hospice. I think it is interesting how at the end people want to share deep thoughts and feelings. Glad someone is there to listen and be a witness to their sharing!
Yes, I 'invented' the idea of writing books the way Studs Terkel did, but only discovered him later. He won a Pulitzer Prize. I won a Substack! But I love working with really deep interviews with people - you have to cut them down and cut out a lot of repetition (everyone speaks repetitively, even me), but you are left with is pure gold.
"I could sit him down and go through what I do in a day – and he would need a whiskey at the end of it. So, I have the whiskey myself." This made me laugh. What a beautiful interview and perspective. I haven't had much experience with hospice, some with death. I'm guaranteed to get more. Thank you Ann.
We all get more and more experience of death as we grow older. Mine began with a close friend who died from AIDS in the early 90s which, making a long story short, resulted in my writing a book about people dying from AIDS, all told in the first person like this one. I felt very privileged to interview people like these.
It does seem like a really wonderful privilege to talk with people about these things (death). Aging does give us practice, which I’m grateful for (and I’m have no desire to diminish grief when I say that) because the increasing closeness of death helps me nudges me to think about my own.
I haven't had a close experience with death, although I know that will come with loved ones and my own journey. I really appreciate the perspective shared here. It's such an important conversation that many of us are not entirely familiar or comfortable with. It's odd, in a way; out of all the things that can happen in a human life, death is the one thing we are all guaranteed.
That's the way I feel (that it will come to us all). Getting especially closer to me, although, interestingly, I am not obsessed with it. But for many years I have been fascinated by how it affects us, how we approach it, how much we can learn from those who deal with it on a daily basis. Thank you for commenting.
I do not dwell on my own death, as Maria Hanley said, " It is guaranteed." But, I do, often, think of my wife of close to 60 years being left when I go. Aside from the grief, which I have shared with her as each and every member of her immediate family passed, I am not sure she could handle it. For that reason, alone, I hope she goes first. I will be sad, but I can go on.
I want to thank you, Ann, for the thought provoking posts you have shared. They make us stop and think of unspoken scenarios we'd possibly (probably) not dwell on if not prodded by folks such as yourself. Thank You, Gene.
I don't know whether you have seen it, Gene, but I decided to write a Note about your last comment and this Note has had a fair amount of attention (38 likes, 10 comments and 5 restacks). The Note said:
“One of the great joys of Substack is having a reader tell you that they really appreciate what you do.
Today I received a comment on a post about hospice care
“I want to thank you, Ann, for the thought-provoking posts you have shared. They make us stop and think of unspoken scenarios we’d possibly (probably) not dwell on if not prodded by folks such as yourself.”
What more could a writer ask for??”
SO THANK-YOU, GENE!
Similar to you, Gene, I have been married 61+ years and very much relate to your comments. My husband and I assume that he will die first (he is older and has more health problems) but you never know. We both think that I will cope better than he will, but there's not a goddam thing you can do about how it will play out.
And thanks for appreciating my posts. I think you will see that I set out to stimulate people to think about new things (and occasionally to make them smile), so it is really nice to hear it is appreciated.