My cousin’s son is severely disabled both physically and mentally. It’s wasn’t expected he would live past childhood but he is close to 50 now and she has never made arrangements for him. He lives with his father and they share care but both are aging and neither is in good health. She clings to the hope that she will outlive him, but what if she doesn’t? I’m happy for this woman that she had the courage to “let go” both for her son and herself. I dread the end facing my cousin and her son.
Oh dear, I am so sorry to hear about your cousin who seems to be caught in the classic bind – having tried all their lives to do the right thing, they must know it isn't right any more. When we interviewed parents, sometimes we interviewed them separately and found that each one was worried out of their minds but hadn't had the courage to raise it with the other. The most important person is the 50 year old son who may have a long life in front of him. If. you think this article would be of any help to your cousin, feel free to share it, but I know it is difficult to intervene where families are already troubled. (I personally had a cousin my age with learning disabilities, but he had moved out of the parental home and died some five or so years ago.) I wish them the best of luck in finding a solution.
Doesn't she just. And never feels sorry for herself. One of the privileges of doing the kind of research I did was to find people like that and give them a voice.
So moving. So truthful. I’m so glad that things worked out as they did for these two. Such a hard life. But ultimately so hopeful. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. All the best.
Yes, very tough. Very humbling. As I said, it was the most moving research I ever did (and I wrote a book on people with AIDS and one on hospice workers)!
What a lovely encounter and how kind to tell the little girl her name meant full of curiosity.
Perhaps I should just have told her she was pretty, since that's what girls tend to want to hear, but as you know I always go for the truest approach.
My cousin’s son is severely disabled both physically and mentally. It’s wasn’t expected he would live past childhood but he is close to 50 now and she has never made arrangements for him. He lives with his father and they share care but both are aging and neither is in good health. She clings to the hope that she will outlive him, but what if she doesn’t? I’m happy for this woman that she had the courage to “let go” both for her son and herself. I dread the end facing my cousin and her son.
Oh dear, I am so sorry to hear about your cousin who seems to be caught in the classic bind – having tried all their lives to do the right thing, they must know it isn't right any more. When we interviewed parents, sometimes we interviewed them separately and found that each one was worried out of their minds but hadn't had the courage to raise it with the other. The most important person is the 50 year old son who may have a long life in front of him. If. you think this article would be of any help to your cousin, feel free to share it, but I know it is difficult to intervene where families are already troubled. (I personally had a cousin my age with learning disabilities, but he had moved out of the parental home and died some five or so years ago.) I wish them the best of luck in finding a solution.
Good of you to these insights into your past research, Ann. It must be so tough to be in that mother's situation and she describes it so well.
Doesn't she just. And never feels sorry for herself. One of the privileges of doing the kind of research I did was to find people like that and give them a voice.
So moving. So truthful. I’m so glad that things worked out as they did for these two. Such a hard life. But ultimately so hopeful. Thanks so much for sharing this with us. All the best.
Yes, very tough. Very humbling. As I said, it was the most moving research I ever did (and I wrote a book on people with AIDS and one on hospice workers)!
An emotionally supportive column. Well done... once again.
Thanks and thanks for the restack. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but I think it’s important to remind people of these issues.